Blessed Carrion

Blessed Carrion

Beleaguered bones

please carry me there

Flattened feet

walk on

Before an age of telephones

while life is unfair

a vicious sweet

a blessed carrion

you read

you eat

walk on

© Kait King, 2015

Advertisements

Last thought in a Playground

playground thoughtShe’s beating the

crap out of me

I want to be

retaliatory

But I can’t find a gap

to even try

and hit back

She kicks me in

my side

Everyone there wants to see

me cry

I can hear their

jeering calls

of magnified echoes

charging through halls

This strange metamorphosis

in sound

is my ticket off

the gravelly ground

And I can see myself

lying there

The group of bystanders

shout and cheer

My body, I see

crumpled like

a sack

And I never even got a chance

to throw a punch back

© Kait King, 2015

Society’s Perfect Human

Society's perfect human

Don’t know why I’m here

but finally I see

there’s a few hard lessons

to be learned by me

And it doesn’t matter what I

think I’ve learned

I give so much

and still get burned

So how do we turn ourselves

into someone new

It can’t be the easiest thing

to do so

why do we try so hard

to be

society’s perfect human being?

 © Kait King, 2015

Does it Sting? – aka Pointless

skeletal mona lisa

Does it sting?

Can you feel

my hate

my anger

blistering at you?

Inflamed and furious

that not even the

Herculean strength of my own

sanity will tie it down

My bitterness seeps out

of my pores

leaving a trail of

achingly sad tearful

nights and aimless lonely

days

Does it sting?

Can you feel me

loathing you from afar?

My hate for you is so

giant – it has to be visible

surely you can feel this

surely you know I am hating you

betrayed by you, unforgiving

of you – surely….

What do you mean, he’s got another girlfriend?

© Kait King, 2015

Oh I Didn’t See You There…

Oh I didn't

It’s going to get dark again, even if the sun is shining I know what I’m in for.  Staring into nowhere with a sense of hopelessness and despair that seems to have no end at the time.  So you’re back, you’ve returned with your sticky, clingy sadness I must wear as a shawl.  It’s a shawl made of all my wrong-doings, lost dreams, failed relationships, and a frightening anxiety about the future.  It weighs a tonne and I struggle to sit up in bed with it on, or get out of bed, or brush my teeth or my hair…you weigh me down, Depression.

I didn’t know I was feeling so bad until I was in the kitchen making myself a coffee…I had been thinking negatively, granted.  And the cold of winter doesn’t make it easy either so the future looks grim with the situation I’m in.  This is the exact time the Shawl of Depression draped herself securely around me so I had to drag myself sadly and tearfully back to my bed.  I see the sky, the sun, the birds, the beauty – the beauty in everything but me and my life.  Then I tell myself off for being so ungrateful and get angry at the things that stop me being who I want to be.  My anger covers the fear and anxiety.  I would rather be angry than scared.  It’s a long process to get to angry.  It’s a long, unseen, unknown process that puts me there in the first place though.

I lie facing the wall.  I don’t want to look  at beautiful things.  My eyes are open, I’m not moving though – my breathing hasn’t changed, it’s still, rhythmical and the tears just seem to fall out of my eyes endlessly.  No noise, no change, nothing – just a waterfall coming out of my face that seems like it won’t let up.  I don’t understand the grief or the sadness.  Perhaps it is the broken me saying goodbye to the real me but refusing to let me go… In a little bit I will sit up and write about this.  It’s crippling and yet I know I have to ride this out.  I know I should take a good look at those feelings but I’m just too angry at the moment…

Kait King 2017